When someone questions a leader's doctrine or directives, or they indicate a desire or plan to leave, the leader's response often points towards the questioner "leaving the Kingdom!" This is nothing more a fear tactic of destructive, high-control groups to manipulate followers into remaining in the cult, so they can be exploited. These cult leaders crave control, and many of the cults active today seek control, not just religiously, but economically and politically as well.
Obviously, these people are misusing the Kingdom of God for their own gain. They do this because they misunderstand the Kingdom.
The best definition of a kingdom I have ever come across is this: a kingdom is a realm where the king's will is law.
So, since then, unless I forget for a while, whenever I read or hear someone mention the Kingdom, I think of the will of God.
Of course, the will of man presented under the guise of the Kingdom is not the will of God.
How can we know what our King's will is?
First, we have the Bible. The Bible is God's written Word. His Word expresses His will, just as your word expresses your will, unless you are lying. God doesn't lie. Ever.
But His Word does contain the lies of men and Satan, so we can see what those are.
Knowing the Will of God is not just a matter of reading the Bible. Romans 12: 2 says we are to have our minds renewed so we "may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect." NASB95
We must let the Bible change us as we read it. My first pastor, a Baptist, once said, "It doesn't matter how many times you have been through the Bible; what matters is how much the Bible has been through you." As you read, let the Bible speak to you about your thoughts, attitudes, actions, patterns of behavior, but also see what it says about who you are and who God is.
I also recommend a practice called assimilating the Word. You pick a book in the Bible and read it 10, 20, 30, times or more before moving on to another book. This allows you to see the entire context of a verse that you probably have never heard quoted in context before. Not only that, you will start to see that one context will be nested within larger context, and that whole book itself is a context that fits into the entire context of the Bible.
We have one other way to find God's will - prayer. Fortunately, we all have access to our King! Hebrews 4, James 1: 5 - 8.
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