What did the Geometry teacher say when he found out his parrot escaped?
Polly gone!
What is Irish, and sits out on the porch All the time?
Patty O'Furniture
The world's shortest Irish joke:
An Irishman walks out of a bar... Hey! It could happen!
A guy found out his blonde girlfriend had never been to a football game despite loving sports. So, he took her to one.
They arrived at their seats just in time for the coin toss. He was immediately concerned about her comfort, so he made sure she was settled in for the game.
She really enjoyed the experience, and he answered her questions as simply as he could.
On the way home, he asked her what she thought. She said, "That seems to be quite a fuss over 25 cents."
He asked why she said that, and she replied, "Every time one team had the ball and they started a play, the fans for the other team would start yelling, 'Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!' "
A beautiful blonde takes a flight from New York to L.A. Half an hour after takeoff, she gets out of her seat in coach and goes to first class, finds an empty seat, and sits down.
A flight attendant checks the roster, sees that the blonde is supposed to be in coach, and she tries to get her to go back to coach. But the blonde does not accept her explanation that she hasn't paid for first class. The blonde refuses to budge.
Every other crew member tries to get her to move, including the co-pilot. No one succeeds. She kept saying over and over, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm on my way to Hollywood, and I'm not moving from this seat!"
Finally, the pilot says he will get her to move, that he is married to a blonde and he knows how to talk to them. He goes over to her, says hi, then bends over to whisper in her ear.
Her eyes pop wide open, and she rushes back to coach. The crew watched this from the cockpit. As the pilot got back there, they asked him what he said to make her move so fast after they all failed.
He said, "I just told her that first class wasn't going to L.A."
TRUE STORY. One morning I come out the front of a convenience store, and right in front of the door is a vintage Corvette. A blonde came out right behind me.
We start walking around it, checking it out. I am a Chevy fan, so that was natural for me.
When I'm standing directly behind the car, the blonde asked what year it was. I said, "It's a 58." She asked how I knew that. I just pointed at the vanity plate that said, ITSA58.
When she saw that, she turned to go on her way, slapped her forehead, and said, "Duh! I'm a blonde!"
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